not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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