it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
