I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
