their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
