Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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