im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
