I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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