I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
