I need help removing her.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
