Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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