I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
