If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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