Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
