she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
