Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
