Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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