Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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