I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
