my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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