garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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