i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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