you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize