It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
