shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
