I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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