I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
