I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
