I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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