I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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