she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
