just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
