Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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