he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize