names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
