her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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