I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
