whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
