Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Less talking, more tequila
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
