Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
