I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
