ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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