our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just found a bag of teeth...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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