I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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