Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
