Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My feet surprised me
Randomize
