I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
