I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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