Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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