I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
