is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
