A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he thought i was a dude.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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