Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
