Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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