There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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