I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize