dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
