Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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