Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
