they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
