i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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