this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
