I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
