ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
you made out with another girl for some wings
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
