i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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