I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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