It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize