So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
