We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
