I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
