What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize