OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize