i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
