I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
